


The Green Eyed Monster and the Blue Eyed Woman

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-26
Updated: 2012-02-26
Packaged: 2017-10-31 19:06:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/347408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You really want to start a fight tonight, don’t you?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Green Eyed Monster and the Blue Eyed Woman

**Author's Note:**

> This doesn’t fit into the Starting Over series because I'm trying to stay linear with that and katewallace gave me a prompt to write Hotch and Beth’s first fight. They just have that spark, so the good stuff is good and the not so good stuff is pretty good too.

“I'm not pissed off about it.”

“If you're upset I want to know. I didn’t mean for anything to upset you.”

“I'm not pissed off about it.” he repeated.

“I don't know, it seems to me that you’re a little pissed off about it.”

“Well I'm _not_ pissed off about it.”

“Aaron, stop,” she reached out for his hand and stopped him from walking. He was already steps ahead of her and that wasn’t like him. He liked to hold hands, be with her. “You're pissed off about it.”

“I'm not.” He shook his head.

“I swear if you say that one more time _I'm_ going to get pissed off about it.”

“You really thought it was OK to just dance with him like that?” Hotch finally asked. “I was standing right there looking like an ass.”

“That wasn’t my intent. Noah is my friend; it’s his birthday so…”

“So you dance provocatively with him? Wow, happy birthday Noah. What am I going to get for my birthday?”

“You let your birthday pass without even telling me.” Beth knew it was a bit of a low blow when she said it but it came out of her mouth anyway.

“Oh so if I wouldn’t have I could’ve gotten a lap dance too?”

“A lap dance.” She scoffed. “Why don’t you tell me what you really think about me?”

“You know what…” Hotch almost pointed at her but stopped himself. What the hell was he doing? This was getting out of control and he felt his anger rising. “I'm not fighting with you; I'm just going to go home.”

“Go.” She waved him away. “Just go…I can get a ride with someone else.”

“We came together and we’ll leave together.” 

“This isn’t high school; I can take care of myself. I've been doing it for a long time and I know how. Just go home Aaron. Its better if you just go home.”

She turned to walk away and he let her. Hotch stood in the same spot but he let her walk away from him. Beth was about ten feet from the door when he ran to catch up with her. His mind was screaming for him to say something. Whatever it was it needed to be the right thing, even if he was bad at that. 

All he kept thinking about was her dancing with that guy and his hands on her hips. Beth laughed with him, put her arms around him. It wasn’t a lap dance; Hotch had actually had one of those in his life. That didn’t mean he had to like it. 

And it wasn’t the sort of thing a woman did with her boyfriend a few feet away. Even if it slipped her mind that she was taken, maybe she didn’t think she was, Noah should've had enough respect not to go there. The two men just met tonight…it wasn’t the best introduction. _Hi I'm Aaron; feel free to paw all over my girlfriend. No problem at all_.

“I'm not leaving when you're mad at me.” he said. That was better than what he was thinking.

“Then stand in the parking lot for all I care.” She turned back to look at him. “I don’t want to fight; I won't be dragged down that road tonight. I came out to have fun with friends. I wanted you to have fun. Apparently I made the wrong decision somewhere. Its better to end this before one of us says something we can't go back on.”

“Like what Beth? Do you mean like my saying I wanted to punch your friend in his face when he was pawing on you?”

“You really want to start a fight tonight, don’t you?” this time when she turned to him there was brimstone in her blue eyes.

Hotch knew that look; he knew it well. In an instant he was back in the bedroom with Haley during the last fight of their marriage. She was so angry…he didn’t think he’d ever seen her that angry before. The woman he fought with wasn’t his wife. 

She was someone else and that someone didn’t love him anymore. That was one of his last memories of her. Hotch wished to God that it wasn’t but sometimes he was grateful when he could remember Haley’s anger instead of her tears on the phone with George Foyet pointing a gun at her. He’d take the memory of wrath over helplessness any day.

“I can't do this.” He could hardly get the words out of his constricted throat as he backed away. He managed to bite down before he said ‘ _I can't do this Haley_ ’. “I'm sorry, I just…I can't do it.”

He turned and walked away. He wanted to walk faster, wanted to break out in a run, but he managed to maintain some dignity. He just had to get away from the situation; it was about to pass no return. He felt the brick walls growing around him again, closing off the fresh air and the night sky. By the time he got behind the wheel of his Chevy Silverado Hotch could barely breathe. 

He put his hand on his chest and felt his rapid heartbeat. It was cold outside but he was sweating profusely. Pushing his seat back as far as it would go, Hotch leaned over and put his head between his legs. His hands went to either side of his head as he thought about breathing. It was the best he could do right now since air wouldn’t come to his lungs. 

_Breathe_ , he shouted at himself. _Breathe, dammit, you breathe or you will die_. After a few minutes of talking to himself and trying to breathe the panic began to dissipate. In through his nose and out of his mouth, Hotch started taking in air. His heart slowed down and the sweat dried up a little. 

His eyes were closed but he wasn’t seeing Haley anymore, he was seeing Beth. And it wasn’t brimstone in her eyes it was sadness. No matter what it was this was his fault. Hotch wanted to act like a jealous caveman and ruin what had, until then, been a great evening getting to know her friends. They probably thought he was an asshole now. 

No way would they ever endorse the relationship and Beth would just break up with him. She could probably have any man she wanted. She wasn’t tired and damaged like he was. She was living life to the fullest. Hotch couldn’t keep up. 

He needed to get out of the way before her party bus ran him down. The tapping on the window startled him. He brought himself out of the sitting position, so confused that he rolled it down without even seeing who it was. He was too frazzled right now to be Mr. FBI Guy.

“What are you doing?” Beth asked. 

Some of the anger was gone from her voice. Not all of it but enough for him to hear her concern. Too bad his response was to look at her as if she were speaking Klingon. 

“What?”

“What are you doing Aaron?”

“I'm having a panic attack.” He replied. “I couldn’t drive off because I started having a panic attack.”

“Are you alright?” the anger was really gone now. “Open the door…are you alright.”

“I'm fine.”

“Open the door.” Beth reached into the window, popped the automatic locks, and opened the door. She took his hand and checked his pulse.

“I thought you were an event coordinator. Do you know what you're doing?”

“It’s a long story but I have a history with panic attacks. Is your vision blurry? Are you having chest pains or numbness anywhere?”

“Numbness, no, I'm fine.” He gently pulled his hand out of hers. “I'm fine. I just need to go home and sleep it off.”

“I'm driving.” Beth went to climb into the truck but he didn’t move. For a moment they just looked at each other. “Move over Hotchner; I'm driving.”

He didn’t want to move over but he also didn’t want to get into a fight about it. A fight is what started this in the first place. Hotch surely hadn't had a panic attack since his teens. He didn’t know what to call them back then and neither did his doctor. 

So he just taught him some breathing techniques to stave off passing out. They’d been a godsend and a way to hide the condition from anyone. On the outside, as always, Aaron Hotchner looked perfect. On the inside he couldn’t even breathe.

“Are you sure you're OK to drive?” Hotch reluctantly moved over the console and into the passenger seat. Not even Steve McQueen could look cool doing that. “You were drinking back there.”

“So were you. If we do get pulled over for some reason, flash your ID and tell the cops we’re on a top secret mission to save the whales or something.” 

Hotch only nodded, leaning his head on the cold glass of the passenger side window as Beth closed the door, put on her seatbelt, and put the key in the ignition.

“What went wrong back there?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I think it was the patently deadly combination of alcohol and ego.” She replied.

“Noah’s probably been your friend forever.”

“We met in grad school many, many moons ago. We both loved Sheryl Crow, flavored tobacco, and watched too much _Dateline_ together. I took him home during so many holidays…my dad thought we were dating for the longest time. But Noah is gay, Aaron, and he’s happily married with a family. He wanted to come and blow off some steam for his 42nd birthday and I wanted to help.”

“I was jealous of the way he was dancing with you.” Hotch admitted. “I was really jealous and I haven’t felt that way in so long all I wanted to do was shout it out. I haven’t felt a lot of things in a long time. It’s like experiencing them for the first time and it can be so draining. I don’t want to fight with you; I hate that feeling.”

“All couples fight. If they don’t then they need to ask themselves some hard questions.” Beth pulled out of the parking space and went to exit back onto the street. They were in Baltimore tonight at one of her favorite places, The Sparkle Lounge. It was at least an hour and some change to Alexandria. Maybe in that time both of them could lower their blood pressure a little.

“I don’t want to fight with you.”

“Good, then that makes two of us.”

“I'm sorry I was such an ass.”

“I just want you to know that you can say things to me.” Beth said. “I say things to you so please don’t hold back when you're feeling something. It’s not always easy to find the words, I know that too, but I'm open to hearing your feelings. Good, bad, mad, or anywhere in between this isn’t worth doing if we can't talk to each other. And I’ll add right now that this is worth doing.”

“It’s so easy to confront a stranger.” Hotch replied. “I do it everyday in my job. But that doesn’t always translate well in an intimate relationship. I'm just so used to words cutting like knives and sometimes when you're numb to the words hurled at you the fists come next.”

“That sounds awful.” She glanced at him before her eyes went back to the road.

“I'm new to this. I'm bad at it. But I don’t want to fight with you.”

“You're better at it than you think. I don’t mean the fighting, I mean dating. And as soon as I get you home, we’ll just kiss and make up.”

There was more Hotch wanted to say but the words weren't there. He was actually grateful when Beth turned on the satellite radio to fill the awkward silent spaces. He didn’t care if she wanted to listen to a station where he didn’t know any of the songs, as long as he didn’t have to listen to the silence anymore. _Under Pressure_ flowed through the speakers. The song seemed to make the silence heavier; at least it did to Hotch.

“Really?”

“Really what?” Beth glanced at him.

“Will we just kiss and make up?” Hotch asked.

“Do you not want to kiss, Aaron? Do you not want to make up? It was a miscommunication that led to a fight. We both take responsibility for our part, we apologize, and we move on. I don’t like to let things fester; it’s not good for anyone. I like you; you know that. I have no intention of letting a misunderstanding ruin a really nice thing.”

“I like you too.”

“See, look at that. We’re not even disagreeing anymore.”

“I just hate the way fighting makes me feel.” He said sighing. “I hate imagining the way the other person must feel and how I've let them down.”

“It takes two.” Beth replied. “I don’t know if it’s always been that way in your life.”

“What do you mean?” Hotch asked, his guard going back up before it had a chance to properly come down.

“Well I'm no shrink and I don’t like to pry but it seems as if you’ve taken the brunt of the fault. Maybe this was in all of your relationships; perhaps just in one. You're that kind of guy…you own up to things.” She sighed. “You may own up to things that you're not even responsible for. 

“I'm not going to make you do that. You have a right to your anger, your jealousy, your frustration, and everything in between. When they rear their ugly heads, we work through it. I'm not perfect; I have my moments.”

“Have you had any moments recently?”

“I admit to a slight uncomfortable feeling around Emily Prentiss.” Beth didn’t even want to let it come out of her mouth. “Did you two ever...?”

“No.” Hotch shook his head. He couldn’t seem to stop shaking his head. “She's a teammate, and a friend. Emily is a nurturer. Taking care of everything makes her feel better; she's a really good friend. But we’ve never been anything more.”

“Jack adores her and when they’re together I can see how much she means to you as well. And I don’t want to compete. If you're friends then you're friends, I understand that. I just felt a little like a third wheel that day we all met.”

“You don’t have to feel that way. Emily and I have never been anything but friends. That’s the truth.”

“OK. I mean, if you were you were. We’ve both lived lives before we started this relationship. I was just using that as an example…to show that we both have feelings about things.”

“I’d just like to get to the kissing and making up part.” Hotch reached across the console and took her hand. He held it to his lips. “I hope I didn’t embarrass you in front of your friends, Beth. I don’t want them to ever think that I don’t respect you.”

“They don’t think that.” now she shook her head. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Yeah.” He nodded.

“Nothing will ever top the Melanie and Rick meltdown of ’06. It happened in public, a crowded place, and the police had to be called. That goes down in friends’ history as the worse relationship end of all time. It was even worse than the time I found out my boyfriend was sleeping with my boss.”

“What?”

“Nevermind.” She slipped her hand out of his and put it back on the wheel. “Couples fight, disagree, and argue but that doesn’t mean they don’t care about each other. How are you feeling?”

“Weird.”

Beth didn’t know what to do with that answer. She wanted more than anything to get under Aaron Hotchner’s skin and see how he worked. He was so handsome. He was smart, funny, athletic, sexy, and so many things she wanted in a man. 

But there was this other side, just beneath the surface of his skin, and it wasn’t pretty. He told her once that he knew she needed to know things. He told her he needed to move forward before going too far back and she wanted to respect that. It was just that she didn’t know what could trigger an argument, a misunderstanding, or an utter meltdown if she didn’t know some things about him. 

“When you're so pissed off you think you're about to run your fist into a wall, what do you do?” she asked.

“I run, or I walk depending on where I am. I just have to keep moving.”

“You're an excellent runner. If not for you I don’t know if I would've made it through my triathlon.”

“You're a good runner.” Hotch said. “It was the cycling where you needed the most work. And you improved a lot after we began training together.”

“Training is easier with a partner.” Beth replied smiling.

“Everything is easier when someone has your back.”

“I have your back, Aaron Hotchner.”

“Ditto. What do you do when you're so upset you're about to run your fist into a wall?”

“Forced saline extraction.” She said.

“I'm sorry?”

“My friend Mel made it up in college. We would be so pissed about something or other so we’d put on a movie that was bound to make us ball our eyes out. That released the anger and tension.”

“What are your top 3 forced saline extraction movies?” Hotch asked.

“You're getting to know me better…catching on with the top 3.” Beth smiled. “That would be _Beaches_ , _Forrest Gump_ , and _Shadowlands_. I pretty much start crying halfway through _Shadowlands_ and never stop. It’s some seriously cathartic stuff.”

“I bet.”

The conversation dwindled but as Beth drove on the silence became less uncomfortable. The music was making her feel better; some Billy Joel, Mr. Mister, and then Pat Benatar. Hotch just looked out the window and watched the darkness of the world go by. She was a bit concerned about how the kissing and making up would go but Beth forced herself not to think about it. 

They were going to be fine…this too would pass. It was probably better to get their first fight out of the way anyway. They were usually about silly things and this one proved no different. They would have a nightcap, kiss, make up, and make plans to see each other again. She’d probably call Noah and tell him all about it in the morning.

She ended up parking the truck a block and a half from where he lived. There weren't many people out; they must have been having parties in the buildings around them. Parking in Alexandria was never great but tonight seemed more crowded than usual. They both got out and this time Hotch held her hand. Beth hadn't walked far when he stopped her, wrapping his arms around her.

“I want to make up right here.” He whispered, his face close to hers.

“Public displays of affection aren’t your thing.”

Hotch looked one way, then another, and back at Beth.

“Do we still call it public if no one’s around? Let me kiss you.”

What woman in her right mind would ever turn down something like that? Just hearing him say it, the husky hushed tone, made her weak in the knees. So she did…she let him kiss her. She let him kiss her again and then once more for good measure. Then Beth kissed him. They weren't just holding hands now, their arms were around each other as they walked to Hotch’s building and then inside. 

“I think we should keep making up.” He said as he reached in his pocket for his house keys. 

It would be the first time she was there. Hotch was surprised he didn’t have an attack of the nerves. That was probably because something else altogether was on his mind. Beth nodded in response to him, smiling as she ran her fingers through his hair. 

The feeling went straight to his belly and a little further down. He was kissing her right outside the door with the keys in his hands. They were trembling now, one holding onto Beth and the other working the lock of his door. They finally made it inside, across the threshold, and against the closed door.

“I should give you a tour of the place.” Hotch murmured against her lips as he was once again pulled under by the sweet taste of her mouth.

“The door is fabulous.” Beth smiled into their kiss. “This color is all the rage in Brooklyn right now.”

“Do you want a drink?” he could hardly believe they were kissing and holding a conversation at the same time.

“No.” Beth shook her head as her lips moved down to kiss his neck. Hotch made the strangest noise, half surprise-half desire, when her teeth nipped his skin. “How about you; do you want a drink?”

“I think…mmm Beth that feels good.” 

“I'm going to keep doing it.” she gently bit him and Hotch gripped her hip.

“This might be more comfortable on the couch.” Hotch replied.

They looked at each other. Words didn’t pass between them, they didn’t have to. They looked into each other’s eyes and knew they were on the same page. It wasn’t the couch where they wanted to be, and Beth’s dimples went deep into her cheeks as Hotch took her hands and they walked right past it. A couple’s first argument could lead them to all kinds of interesting places. Hotch and Beth had been dating for over five months…he knew exactly where theirs was going. 

He was petrified, overwhelmed, and excited all at the same time. He was also hornier than a sailor on shore leave. But Hotch planned to be the gentleman he always was. He knew no matter how far this went tonight there would be satisfaction for them both. It was his job to do that for Beth; doing so insured his own. Making up really couldn’t get any better than that.

***


End file.
